11 days

Visa from the Congolese embassy--check (An aside: it's surprising to me how "naked" I felt without my passport. I don't carry it around, I rarely look at it unless I'm going on a trip, but, by golly, I like to have it available. But it's back.)

Yellow fever and typhoid injections, cipro and malarone pills--check

Time spent with God so I'm calmer and more at peace about this whole trip--check (I realized last night that part of my anxiety about this whole trip was this need to be at peace in case I died. Yep, that put an extra weight on this trip. I can't say that that would be ok with me--honestly, who wants to die and leave a family?--but I will say that as of this morning, it feels re-framed. If I can cast my anxiety on God, b/c He cares for me, then I can trust that He will be in charge, and I don't need to expend any energy on wondering what will or won't happen. I can just live in the here and now and cross each bridge as I come to it. Phew.)

Logistics that still need to happen:
*Money from the bank (did you know you can use US dollars in Congo? Just make sure they are 2004 and newer without rips, tears, or any quizzical expressions.
*Picking up promised bumbos and formula. If you want to donate formula, I still have space in my bag. Talk to me!
*Coming up with a prayer list and contacting folks interested in covering this trip with prayer. (Yes, that could be you.)
*Random mosquito net and bug repellent acquisition. I'm just glad I'm not planning on being pregnant again ever, so DEET, here I come. (Yuck.)
*Practice French. I can now say I understand a little French, which is an overstatement.
*Figure out which handouts to try and take for the orphanage and the disabled group, as well as streamline a questions re: sponsorship.
*Pack bags. Readjust. Weigh. Repack. Readjust. Weigh. Repeat.
*Do I actually get to choose a book to read on the plane? Suggestions welcome. (Nothing too heavy, both literally and figuratively.)

There's more, I'm sure, but thanks for making it through my brain purge.

reality check

I realized the last day or two that my only sense of what Rwanda (the place where I initially land and may spend a day or so there) and Congo are like is based on two things:
1. the 1994 Rwandan genocide (I lived in Costa Rica in 1994 and devoured Newsweek, and saw issue after issue after issue of horror.)
2. the media reports of atrocities (like rape) committed in DRC. For example, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8677637.stm

I know there is so much more to these countries. Heck, I have a friend living in DRC and I hear other stories about how this orphanage longs to be self-sufficient, how there is joy in the midst of suffering, etc. But yet, as the countdown begins (19 days!), I find myself feeling overwhelmed by these complicated histories, these cultures unlike my own in many ways.

It probably doesn't help that I went to the State Dept website today and started reading about the warnings about traveling in DRC. My body also seems to be in rebellion, and my nose and sinuses are leading the charge. Between that and the drizzly day I'm ready to curl up with a book and some tea and pretend that I can live an insulated life. (And yet, and yet, that's not the life I want to lead. This wrestling may never end, and I don't think it should. And yet.)

On a happier note, I have seven pounds of formula and promises for more. I'll end there, and keep further pondering internal for a while.

a formulaic drive for formula

I got to skype with my friend Holly last night (who is in Congo) and asked how much formula I should try to bring. Her response? 50 pounds. While I'm not quite sure how all this is going to fit in my luggage with the bumbo seats, some random stuff I need to bring for her family and, oh yes, the clothes I suppose I should bring for myself, I'm willing to give it a try. So...if you live somewhere in the SF Bay area and want to donate formula (any size, any brand, so long as it hasn't been recalled) let me know.

I confess it's a bit odd for me to get formula. I've made a bottle once while babysitting, but it feels quite foreign to me despite having two kids. But hey, how else was I going to expand my horizons today?

On a related note, I guess the security outside of Bukavu hasn't been great recently, so I pray that things will improve enough to allow us to actually make it to the orphanage while I'm there. Regardless, Holly will make sure that it gets there eventually, but I do hope I can interact with the kids and their caregivers myself.